Since I was a little girl, I have never felt fully okay with my body. I remember being in my first year of middle school when I went on my first diet. It was a time where girls rolled their jeans down, just to let everyone know they were a little too big and that they were a size 0. My mom brought home a pair of Abercrombie & Fitch jeans for me in a size 2 one night, and they were too small. I remember feeling a ‘muffin top’ for the first time. That’s when my ‘diet began’. I would not eat breakfast, and at school, I would have a chocolate chip cookie & strawberry-kiwi Snapple for lunch. I would savor that cookie piece by piece, alongside the other girls in hot-pink north face jackets. Dinner would be my only real meal every day. I don’t even remember if this ‘diet’ worked, it’s just the first incidence I remember where I was conscious of what I was eating, and I have been every since.
In high school, I was more confident after moving to a new town where people were less cliquey and more supportive and cool. I don’t really remember worrying about my weight or how I looked, my size was my size. In college, however, my insecurities came roaring back as I met new people and started to feel less and less good enough. After gaining the ‘freshman 15’ ( and then some), I started my most aggressive dieting for my sophomore year. During that time, I did the ‘Whole 30′ diet which since has become more popular. Basically, this diet is 30 days of just lean meat, veggies, and potatoes. Every day for breakfast I would have a fried egg, roasted potatoes, and hot sauce. Lunch and dinner would be meat and veggies. That doesn’t sound too bad, but this diet is EXTREMELY restrictive when you read the fine print. 30 days was hard, but I lost the most weight and felt the best. On top of that diet, I was taking numerous HIIT classes and Spinning classes a week at The Edge and Joyride, here in CT. Needless to say, I was my thinnest then. But I was also my loneliest. I was not only restricting my intake, but restritcing my activity and fun. I would NEVER see my friends, for fear that I would break my diet or stay out too late and miss a workout the next day. I was thin, but bored and I realized its just no way to live.
Within the past 2 years, I have tried getting back into Whole30 or other diets but simply have no desire to hold myself back from living my life. I don’t want to spend my time counting calories or worrying about whether or not one cookie will ruin my life. Being around the kids has made me realize that there are so many more important things in life, and you cannot focus on the trivial. What I don’t eat now is dairy, and I try to limit my intake or bread and carbs. I have come to realize that those are the things that make me
What I don’t eat now is dairy, and I try to limit my intake or bread and carbs. I have come to realize that those are the things that make me feel physically the worst. What has been working for me is Weight Watchers. Yes, I am 24 and on Weight Watchers. It is easy and non restrictive, and still lets my live my life. I simply use my phone to scan items or log foods, and if something is too many ‘points’ I don’t eat it. For example, I get 30 points a day, with fruit and veggies being 0 points. If for breakfast I wanted a granola bar, that is SIX points. I spent all that on something that will not even fill me for more than half an hour. On the contrary, I could have had a banana, 1/2 a tbsp of peanut butter, and rice cake for a total of 4 points. Protein in PB, a little carb in rice cake, and fiber from the banana, I am FULL. Sometimes, I’ll even put a little honey on top for sweetness and not even tell my food log cuz I am badass like that. Basically, it’s all about making SMART choice, even with three kids biting at your ankles. Most days, I don’t even log my points until the end of the day but find I stil kept within them. It trains you to do it, and soon you’re not even thinking about it.
In conclusion, I don’t let dieiting control my life anymore. I live happily each day. Some days I am fueled by salad and coconut water, others its burgers and brownies. WHO CARES. As long as you are happy and being good to those around you, do what works for you 🙂