All week, I have been nervous about today. I always get nervous when I have to go to a function by myself. I get anxious about walking in and the awkward-ness of simply arriving. How will I know where to go? What if I am the first one there? What if no one talks to me? A million different things run through my head, things that are always easier when you have someone by your side. When I lived at school, I always had someone to go places with, even if it was just to the grocery store or Marshalls. Now, I am 100% alone most of every day. I knew I had to just get over it, and go.
This morning, I did my usual spin at soulcycle, and had a really great ride. I got home around 930am and to start getting ready. Since I am going to Europe, I returned the Anthropologie dress I had originally bought for the shower and saved myself $150. Instead, I went to Marshalls this week and got a $17 floral number that I kinda hated, and decided I would keep the tag on and return it after I wore it, #cheapskate. As I did my makeup, I found myself feeling super self conscious about my acne, which I recently haven’t been able to get rid of. I have a facial scheduled for next Saturday at Dream Spa in Westport, CT and I really hope that helps. Anyway, I eventually looked good enough and went to put on my $17 floral number…and I hated it. I literally thought: I look like Mrs. Doubtfire. The cut of the dress was not all that flattering and the slip underneath was too tight on my soulcycle thighs and kept riding up. To make matters worse, the only black heels I own are the low kitten heels I originally bought for halloween. They looked sexy then but today they looked TOTALLY grandma-ish with this dress. But it was 10:55 and I didn’t have time to fuss and change, it was time to go.
In the car, I turned on my GPS for Gusto Trattoria in Milford, CT. When I walked in, I saw some of my sorority sisters and gladly I very quickly had people to stand with while I looked for the guest of honor.
When I spotted my Kait, I was instantly jealous but also heart warmed at how perfect she looked. I have always looked up to Kait, not only because she is my big but because she is an excellent role model. She always has done things right, to me. Went to a great school, had a solid boyfriend, she’s gorgeous, she has a wonderful family, a great job, and amazing friends. She kind of is a perfect person honestly. But not in a way that makes you hate her, she is humble and modest. Her bridal shower dress was a deep navy blue with little pink flowers on it and a wide skirt. Her shoes were the same navy blue with a tiny ankle strap and adorable bows on the back. Her freshly highlighted hair was curled into perfect beach waves and her makeup was flawless. Perfection.
Anyway, after I survived my arrival anxiety, I got a mimosa and mingled with my sorority sisters. From there, we did some bridal shower games and ate some amazing food (warm foccacia bread, salad, salmon with pesto and orzo). What stood out about the typical games was the prizes they were giving out for winners. Anyone who won a game got great looking gift baskets complete with wine and everything. It was clear that a lot of effort and $$ went into this shower and it was well worth it.
At my table was Kait, her sister, one other sorority sister and three of Kait’s friends from home. One of those friends from home, I happen to know because I had a ‘thing’ with her brother. I’ll call it a thing because we went to middle school together and then reconnected on Tinder probably 4 years ago. For awhile, we talked pretty regularly but he never followed through on hanging out. One night, when I was living at college, he was on campus for a party and ended up staying in my room. I remember it being so surreal that he was ACTUALLY there. I really liked him and wanted it to workout, but alas, it didn’t. Now, we see each other around town sometimes and will be friendly but thats about it. My unfulfilled crush still lingers tbh. So, I was nervous to be sitting next to his sister, and found myself wanting to make a good impression on her. Irrational girl thoughts: Maybe she’ll mention to him how sweet I was and he will want to date me. LOL. Well, I struck up a polite conversation with her and it wasn’t life changing, but it was good enough. *shrug*
With a full stomach, a mimosa/coffee buzz, and a heart hoping one day I will be this happy, it was time for me to gather my party favor and head home. The favor was a cellophane bag with a candle, a wine cooler and a cookie, each labeled with ‘Kaitlyn’s Bridal Shower 3.11.17’ It was excellent 🙂
Stay tuned for tomorrow’s trip to The Mark Twain House with my dad! #daddate